here’s a little experiment. i took apart my narrative fiction and re-arranged some of the words/sentences to form this:
We rolled in rapture through that rainy june.
he and i coalesced into a ‘we’-
and we did everything together:
slow river strolls,
scrambling back to decency in those sandy shoals-
in the tall bent grass,
beneath the pines,
pressed against the wooden balustrade of the balcony,
between the thick inky blots of the night-
rusty sunbeams, and spirit streams.
(one, two) three pairs of
running through thunder with
crowns on our heads.
backspace- wrong story.
every second of (bliss,)
every moment of (happiness,)
every exhale of (ecstasy)
undercut by the agonizing knowledge
that in sixteen nights
damp lashes, torn shirts,
the air pregnant with promises,
as we madly clung onto the night,
swords and spears outward turned
bravely fighting off the
what if i told you a story?
what if i told you about two kids falling in love: about their bee buzz, warm skin, sun-dappled summer together, about the sunrises and sunsets; sweet and sweaty, about their last goodbye as they clung onto the night, about the pain of parting, and the despair of dissociation, about his roaring silence, about her quiet retreat to self-deconstruction and self-effacement, about hollowed cheeks and rising ribs, about her rise out of that darkness, about the brutality of his indifference, about what they said when they first spoke after a year of silence?
what if i told you a story of affection’s soft dissolution?
what if i told you a story about of how happiness becomes unhappiness?
thanks for the pain, i need it for my art.
JUICE FAST COMPLETED!
i’m very happy with it. i’ll do another one next time i’m home, which will probably be in the summer.
yeah yeah excited to be finished with the juice fast tomorrow.
during the night i was really hungry though.
today it’s fine again- half of the day to go!!
im thinking of breaking the fast with a day of just smoothies.
so im halfway through day 2 of the juice fast, and so far so good.
i just made almond milk for the first time, and it was far superior to store bought.
i think my skin is already starting to look better- but i might be just seeing what i want to see.
its so great to be home and be able to do this.